Tough Decisions

When someone comes to you and seems to be having a bad day or has been feeling depressed, it’s hard to resist helping them out. For some people, helping others is done only to gain a good reputation or feel good about themselves. But for me, I want to try to help others because I don’t believe anyone should be alone when they are at their lowest. I know that I have had rough days and I’ve gone to my friends or family just to have someone to talk to. It really did not matter what I said or what their response was, what mattered was that they listened and let me get it all out. Being an optimist, it seems that I attract the kind of people that need to find a reason to smile. Of course, I welcome them, because they are the kind of people that my blog was created for in the first place. Sure, some of the people that read my blog are optimists themselves. But I’ve realized that those are the people that have usually been through the most in their lives. One must sometimes go through a lot in order to realize what there is to be happy about at all. Those are the people that I believe are the biggest readers of my blog, the ones still learning and the ones who have already learned so much. If I am wrong about that, please feel to let me know.

My problem is that I can sometimes spend so much effort on trying to help someone else, that I start to forget about myself, my own problems and stress, and my own life. The life of another consumes me and I cannot help but worry about them day in and day out. The hardest thing to do is explain why you care so much, to explain why you are worrying so much about them. And I’ve had some people ask me that. All I can really say is that I begin to think I am right there with them, feeling their pain and crying their tears. Trust me, I know that the pain I feel is nothing compared to the true pain they are feeling inside. It is when I attempt to help out multiple people at one time that I began to lose control and fall into my own slump. A few weeks ago, that is exactly what happened to me. One comment, one simple comment, almost pushed me over the edge.

Someone that I hardly knew at all told me that I was “annoyingly happy” and that it was “not possible for me to be so happy all the time.” I took those words to heart, and they really struck me to the core. Was I annoying? Was optimism really not worth it anymore? It took me two weeks to end my depressed slump and get back to the way I was before. And in those two weeks, I began to rethink my entire life. Even though my friends and family told me to ignore what the person had said, I still began to wonder. Who am I? What does the future have in store for me? The worst part of it all is when I began to think the worst question of them all. Should I even continue my blog anymore? Is optimism worth it still? Looking back on those moments of confusion and doubt, I can say now that I am going to continue my blog for as long as I possibly can. And, yes, optimism is worth it. What my huge realization was in the end, though, was that some people will never be optimistic, no matter what I try to say or do. I’ve accepted that fact, and it has made me wiser now.

This realization also led to the hardest thing I ever done in my life. A few weeks ago I had to cut off contact with one person I tried my hardest to show the beauty of life too. Trust me, I dearly wanted to help this person out. But every time I thought I had helped this person find the light in the ever-growing darkness, I was proven wrong. And I don’t blame this person for being depressed and sad. I don’t blame this person for anything that this person has done. I know that this person has been through much more than what I can even image. What I had to decide, though, was whether or not I could handle the pain and problems and stress and hardship that this person shared with me. In the end, I decided that it was all becoming too much for me to handle. The worry. The feeling of failure, again and again and again, weighed me down. So I had to cut off contact with this person. This was not easy for me to do, and to this day I still think about this person. It may be a while until I can move on, and the same can be said about this person that I tried to help. But at least I tried; I really tried so hard.

My lesson for you is: if you try to help someone, but find yourself being affected past your own breaking point, then it may be time to try and move on. It truly is the hardest thing you will ever have to do, but think about it. If you become as broken as the person you are trying to help, then how can you ever fix anything.

I Don't Know

I don’t know who I am,

I don’t know who I’ll be,

I guess the only thing I can do,

Is wait and see,

I don’t know where I’m going,

I only know where l’ve been,

I don’t know if I’ll lose,

Or if I’ll win…

But I’m gonna keep going,

I’m gonna keep trudging on,

Through the darkness of the night,

Through the light of day.

I’ll carry with me my sorrow,

And every last drop of pain,

It may weigh me down,

Or show me the way,

And I’ll carry with me the good times,

All the laughs I’ve shared,

It may weigh me down,

Or show me the way.

But I’m gonna keep going,

I’m gonna keep trudging on,

Through the darkness of the night,

Through the light of dawn.

Whoever said it was easy?

Whoever said it would be hard?

There are times when we’re scared,

Other times when we let down our guard,

There are times when we’re all in,

Other times we put down the cards,

There are times when we want to play,

But have to wait until another day.

But I’m gonna keep going,

I’m gonna keep trudging on,

Through the darkness of the night,

Through the light of dawn.

Sometimes I will reach a crossroads,

And have no idea which path to choose,

Sometimes someone will go ahead and say,

“It’s better to go this way,”

And sometimes I’ll want to turn around,

To go back to the way things were,

To get off the beaten path,

Since life’s a chore.

But I’m gonna keep going,

I’m gonna keep trudging on,

Through the darkness of the night,

Through the light of dawn.

Maybe one day I’ll find my way,

Find something to make me happy,

I’ll be able to wipe away my tears,

And maybe even face my fears,

But what if that day never comes,

And I’m left all alone?

I gotta remember the future,

Is not set in stone,

I won’t ever know what I will be,

So maybe I should just wait and see?

Maybe at the end of my journey,

I’ll find out what’s in it for me?

But I’m gonna keep going,

I’m gonna keep trudging on,

Through the darkness of the night,

Through the light of dawn.

This journey won’t ever end,

I’ll always be moving on,

From the shadows of the dusk,

To the light of dawn,

I won’t ever know who I am,

I won’t ever know where I’m going,

If I stop right now.

So I’ll still keep going,

I’ll still keep trudging on,

Through the darkness of the night,

Through the light of dawn.

There will always be a reason,

There will always be a way,

To carry on…

Stuck In A Slump

We all feel it at some points in our lives.

And no matter how hard we try to avoid it, it still comes no matter what we do. We all fall into a slump. Nothing makes us happy anymore. We lose sight of our dreams and of reality. Our true self gets locked away and everything we used to feel becomes numbed. Our friends notice a change in us. Our family begins to question our attitude and start to ask, “What’s wrong?” Nothing’s wrong. An optimistic slump is normal. I’ve had days when I’ve felt this way. Whatever I try to do, I am always unable to force myself back into reality. I do not even understand why I am so sad and depressed. On days like these, we all try to fake a smile and trudge through the day not trying to enjoy it, just trying to make it through. But is a slump as bad as we make it out to be?

A slump gets us thinking. We think much deeper than we normally would be. We start to wonder about our future, our relationships, the choices we have made, and on life in general. So what is so bad about that? Everyone needs time to really sit back and put the puzzle pieces of their life back in the correct places. No one can truly go on being optimistic forever without taking breaks to refuel. Our inspiration can run out; nor are any of our feelings limitless. Sooner or later, our feelings need to make a pit stop. Our check engine light does not only turn on when something bad happens physically, but also emotionally. Once the slump ends (and it always does end), you will feel relieved, but also revitalized.

In our fast-paced world we all should be grateful for a break. So, don’t be worried when you start to fall into a slump, unless of course, the slump does not go away after a long while. It’s your body’s way of telling you to slow down and take a very much-needed break. You’ve worn out your resources and need to go on a supply run. A slump gets you closer to yourself than anything else can. So, use that chance you have to look deep inside and try to understand your true self. When you know who you truly are, your confidence will grow and you’ll be able to be yourself, not anybody else.

And at the end of your slump,

Get off of your rump,

And take the next jump into life.

Creative Opportunist

Guest Post - James Lacerenza

I want to share with you the equally important mindset of doing things by creating opportunities even when there seem to be none out there for you to take.  The way you perceive your life really is a matter of attitude.

When I graduated college in December, 2010, I knew that adjusting from a structured routine of going to school every day and interacting with people the same age as me to transitioning towards not having to go anywhere or answer to anyone except myself for the first time in my life was going to be more difficult than the average person, for many reasons.  For much of the last 18 months or so, I’ve gotten used to being in my house every day, doing laundry, stretching out my hamstrings, cleaning the floors, and spending hour after hour on the computer, either looking for a job, networking with friends on Facebook, or making a small income on “incentive websites” like Swagbucks, where the more time I spend on the site, the faster I earn free rewards and some spare cash.

In a world where my future potential boss can find out more about me with one click of a mouse than ever before, I take a risk in even typing out this.  My possible employers really don’t care about what I’ve done in my life, where I’ve come from or what I’ve been through.  They care about how much money I can make for them.  I’d rather take the risk of helping a mass amount of people going through a similar situation today than just take a job working overnights in a hospital or bagging groceries.  These were two jobs I actually was considered for, and I rejected both.  I graduated with an English degree, and I want to utilize it in a job where my skills are essential to the end result.
Perhaps this is why I have had the optimistic attitude of trying to enjoy the last 18 months of not doing a great deal of anything as much as possible.  I also have come to realize that being a writer or motivational speaker for a living, where I can set my own schedule, is becoming the career path I want to travel, even if I “miss out” on the social interaction I crave for the next few years while I establish myself as an author or speechwriter.  Instead of sitting back and waiting for my opportunity in a world of endless job websites – I created my own opportunity.

Realistically, I probably wouldn’t have been able to raise a combined total of about $40,000 during these last 18 months for children with muscular dystrophy if I had a full-time, traditional job.  Nor would I have been likely to meet people like Jerry Lewis and expand my social network outside of my computer screen by actually meeting many of the people I help at different events and gatherings.  I probably wouldn’t have started writing for blogs and for an eventual book, might not have been able to take an hour or two out of each day to go to physical therapy.  I almost surely wouldn’t have been able to ask my boss for time off to explore the possibility of me driving a car, or coordinating an annual community wide fundraiser that is getting bigger and better each year.

I will admit - my current mobility and economic situation does indeed get me frustrated from time to time when I see my friends post a gazillion photos on Facebook of themselves out on family vacations or partying with other friends.  Yet, I realize that I did indeed make all of the wonderful things that have happened for me in the last year and a half happen for myself by not living the typical life of a 25 year old.  Time and again, people both younger and older than me say, “you’re good at this fundraising thing, man” or, “you’re a very talented writer” or, “wow, what a speech you gave tonight”. I tell them I am lucky because I know what I want to do with my life – I want to make people happy by helping them overcome adversity in a variety of ways.
 
The social interaction with other 25 year olds, the pride of bringing home a paycheck in a job where I utilize my skills to my full potential, the relaxation I need sometimes when I juggle my philanthropy with my writing and occasional public speaking engagements sometimes make me sad.  Those are things that the typical 25 year old has an easier time of obtaining.  I actually feel like the path I’m on right now, though not typical, is ideal for me because I am truly happy with doing things the way I want to.  How many people my age can say that they know what they want to do for the rest of their lives, that they will not be deterred from realizing their dreams no matter what obstacles are thrown in their way, and that they enjoy making other people happy year after year by fundraising as they go on their own path?  Probably not too many people.

If all I did for the rest of my life was raise an average of 20 thousand dollars a year for kids in wheelchairs, inspire others by giving speeches and make my own income from writing about my life experiences, I would be thrilled, honestly.  My regrets would be very few, and when put in their proper perspective, quite miniscule compared to my triumphs and my pride.

Malcolm Pray, a very wealthy man in my area who ran a successful chain of car dealerships, said something to me at the age of 13 that has stuck with me ever since I’ve heard it.  It’s a quote that has been often times repeated by others before he imparted it on me.  In his living room, he told me and a bunch of other youths he invited over to see his vintage car collection the following:

“There are three types of people in this world. People who make things happen, those who watch what happens, and those who say, ‘what happened’?  Don’t just sit back and watch what happens, don’t be the person who asks, ‘hey, what happened?’ – make things happen.”

Even though I haven’t had the typical post-college experience, I’ve made things happen by exploring and capitalizing on my passions.  When my friends are searching for what drives them, I will be blessed to already know, and probably will already be chasing after that motivation, full speed ahead.

That is one heck of a positive perception to have about life.

The Observer

As some of you know, a while back I wrote a poem called “From the Outside Looking In” discussing my thoughts as an observer trying to fit in with the crowd.  I think that it is due to the fact that my disability used to make me feel jealous of other people around me.  I was forced to watch everyone around me run, climb, and play sports, while I sat on the sidelines.  I wanted to be able to make the winning touchdown in the football game.  I wanted to be able to actually raise my hand in class and open the door for someone else.  What I believed I truly wanted was to be like everyone else, since I thought that I was not good enough as I was.  Everyone else seemed able to enjoy life, to accomplish their dreams, to be more than who I could physically be.

After a while, though, I was able to realize the one simple fact of life: we all have our problems and we all want what we do not or cannot have. In high school, I learned that lesson by talking to my friends and through hearing the rumors constantly spread like wildfire throughout the school.  These problems that we carry with us may not always be visible, such as our fear of the future, our feelings of remorse and regret, or our lack of self-esteem.  Other problems may be very apparent and visible: our anxiety, our stress, our anger, or even our outer appearance that we believe others find hideous.  Still other problems may be visible, yet hard to identify, such as depression, sadness, or just feeling lost in a world out proportion.  We may try to hide our problems, or push people as far as possible away from them, but that never works.  Or we may instead attempt to get the attention and assistance of our friends or family as inadvertently as possible.  Yet again, that does not solve anything.

I, being an observer for so long, feel that I am better able to notice when my friend needs someone to talk to.  Noticing the smaller and veiled details is something that comes naturally to me.  I know, I know, it is so much harder to look deeper into a conversation in our technological world; there are not many hints found in the simple statements of a text message or Facebook chat.  But if you look deep enough, read between the lines, and actually take the time out of your day for it, then it is possible.  Me?  I try to make time for my friends when they need me to.  I just can’t live with myself if I ever just leave someone without at least attempting to assist.  To me, leaving a friend in need is like forgetting to take the baby out of the car on a hot summer’s day.

So, try to be an observer. It is not as hard as it may seem.  If your friend is not acting as he or she normally would or answers with “okay”, “fine”, or “bad” to “How are you?” then it time to take action.  Ask them, “Do you want to talk about it?” and if they say “yes” then try to talk to them, and most importantly, LISTEN to them as long as you possibly can.  Don’t run away from the problems of others since it may scare you or you feel it does not concern you; being left all alone is the last thing that your friend wants.  Even if your friend says that he or she does not want to talk about it, at least tell them, “If you ever need someone to talk to, I am always here for you.”  That simple statement still shows your friend that you care, although it may seem to be worthless or not helpful to you.  To end on, please don’t leave a baby in a hot car, and I mean that figuratively…

…and LITERALLY (it’s so dang hot outside!)

Who Says?

I’ve struggled with this problem myself.  I always used to worry about what others thought about me.  I would see them staring at me and then a thousand thoughts would be whipping through my head.  “Why are they staring at me?”  “Do they think I’m a strange person just because I am sitting down?”  “I wish I were normal.”  Thoughts like that were what stopped me from living to my fullest potential.  Everything I did would be almost completely based on what others would think of me afterwards.  Everyone has a different opinion of life and what is right and wrong, normal and abnormal, beautiful and ugly.  Therefore, it is impossible to be who the world wants you to be.  But it is possible to be who YOU want to be.

It took me a while to figure that simple statement out.  The only way I could realize that I would not want to be anyone else is by being myself.  Once you open yourself up to the world and let whoever wants to accept you for who you are.  Sure, you are taking a risk when you do this.  You are risking losing some friends.  Frankly, though, are they really your friends if they cannot accept you for YOU?  And by being yourself think about all of the new and even closer friends you will gain.  Those new friends may have been there the entire time, but you never chose to hang out with them since they weren’t as accepted as everyone else.  All that truly matters is that you accept yourself.  The rest will follow.

“But I don’t know who I truly am yet…”  It’s fine to say that. It takes a long time and a lot of work to find out who you are at the core.  If you are not ready just yet to take the plunge and be yourself, then that’s okay too.  That also takes time to work up the courage. When you do find yourself and the courage to be that very person you know deep down inside you are, then take the plunge.  It may be a long way down sometimes, but there will always be someone to catch you at the bottom.  And that person may be the last person you thought it could ever be.  Just take that first step, and the steps that follow will become easier over time.

“How do I know if I am not being myself?”  The answer to that is simple.  It takes more work to change who you are for others than it does to be yourself.  So if it seems like you have to try and think about everything when you are out in public, then you are most likely not being yourself.  Truly being whom you are inside should come naturally and easily.  So, “who says you’re not perfect?”  The simple answer is who really cares what they think?  If you think you’re perfect, then YOU are perfect.

You Are In Control

Never let anyone,

Shut down your dream,

No matter how easy,

Or hard it may seem.

Never let anyone,

Borrow your heart,

No matter how innocent,

It seemed from the start.

Never let anyone,

Change who you are,

Even if they think,

It will get you quite far.

Just remember your life,

Is your’s for the taking,

A fool of yourself,

Is sometimes worth making.

Set yourself free,

I’m sure you’ll be fine,

Even if some people say,

That you’re crossing the line.

To make something of yourself,

The last things you’ll need,

Are money and wealth,

Power and greed,

No need to ever,

Put your hope on the shelf,

Many doctors have told me,

It’s not good for your health! :)

Laughing Through Pain

Guest Post - James Lacerenza

It was always my dream to meet Jerry Lewis.  Over the last 20 or so years of my 25 years of being on Earth, I was the kid who stayed up and watched all 21 and a half hours of Jerry’s annual telethon for muscular dystrophy, before I even realized what the show was for, why it was on my television, and just who was hosting it.

As I grew, I learned about Jerry’s partnership with Dean Martin, I watched some of his movies (“Disorderly Orderly” is my favorite); I knew of his successes and failures, his fans and detractors.  However, I never ever dreamed I would really meet him, despite multiple people, actually at least 100 people, probably hundreds more, saying things like, “I hope you meet him”, or “you deserve to meet him”, or “that would be so awesome if you met him” over the course of the last decade.  I believed I would meet him, I just didn’t know how or when.

So, when it was announced that my idol (or as I called him, “God”) was celebrating his 86th birthday (March 16, 2012) the day before my 25th one (March 17, 2012), my dad and I resolved to go, and I vowed to at least be in the same room as my inspiration.

I should explain that despite living with cerebral palsy, I not only watched Jerry’s telethon for muscular dystrophy until Jerry’s sudden, unexpected “goodbye” in 2010, I actively participated it, first as a volunteer in my hometown, then as a presenter who turned in to a local host on the 2008 New York City broadcast.  In the process, I’ve raised well over one hundred thousand dollars for kids with muscular dystrophy to go to Muscular Dystrophy Association (MDA) camp in Spring Valley, New York and I’ve added a second camp site, Jett Foundation’s Camp Promise East as well.  So, I felt it was my duty to show my loyalty to Jerry.

The celebration was actually split into two parts, one half was for the public in the form of a lecture and Q&A session at the 92nd Street YMCA in Manhattan, the other was a semi-private party at the hallowed Friar’s Club also in Manhattan.

Leading up to the show, I had been having a rough stretch of days in my life but tried my best not to complain, publicly or otherwise, though it was hard.  While my birthday was mere hours before Jerry’s, I lost my mom a week after my 19th birthday in 2006, so my emotions were somewhat jumbled.  Add in a job search that seemed to be stuck in “neutral” and “cabin fever” from being told I wouldn’t be able to drive (yet – I depend on my dad to drive me around for now), and I knew I was in desperate need of pulling out the one universal weapon that both Jerry and I (but especially Jerry) were really good at using in times of stress and trouble: laughter.

After a lengthy discussion with Richard Belzer (Law and Order, all 98 versions) on Jerry’s movies and other things, including Jerry claiming he didn’t retire, he was fired from the telethon by MDA (Jerry’s claim, not mine, here’s a link to where he said it!), the time for questions from the audience came.  (It was so hot in the auditorium, I actually got nervous and had to regroup with a drink of water and watch most of the show in an air conditioned room next to the auditorium.)

My father was worried I wouldn’t have a good question, since Jerry told the audience that we didn’t need to tell him how much we loved him – some people did, and got a playful, sometimes annoyed Jerry to deal with, yet, to be fair, all of us there that night were used to “angry Jerry”, having seen much of his body of work.

When I rolled down to the stage, a grin began to form on Jerry’s face as if I was a ray of sunshine peaking through the clouds of people saying “I love you!” that was giving him a headache.

Loud enough for everyone to hear, he and I spoke.

“Hi Jerry!”, I said, not loudly, but louder than most of the others in the audience had been.

Jerry replied: “Hi, could you speak a little softer?”

I whispered, “okay”, and there was that sound I was looking for – LAUGHTER. I knew I had the audience’s attention now.

“Jerry, I don’t want to tell you I love you because you know that already, but my name is James Lacerenza, I have cerebral palsy and I’ve sent about 50 to 100 of your “kids” to camp.  I just want you to know you’re my hero.”

The audience, without me asking, broke into applause for about 15 seconds, probably a bit longer.

“James”, Jerry said, “I remember you, yes. I know all about what you’ve done.  Are you Italian?”

Of course, I said, “yes!”

Jerry uttered: “I can smell the garlic breath from here!”

A wave of laughter came from everyone, including me.

Jerry continued: “What’s your question, sweetheart?”

I replied: “I wanted to know what advice you had for me raising more money for the kids, and if you could give me a hug after the show.”

Then, the words I never thought I’d hear came from Jerry: “I’ll meet you backstage after the show to do exactly that.”

More applause followed, and my body and brain felt a mix of emotions: shock, happiness, nervousness, excitement, bliss, being extremely grateful and fortunate, all rolled into one.  I also silently thanked my mother.  I knew she had planned this somewhere in heaven.

A half hour later, after patiently waiting for the end of the show, in the dual basement and garbage room of the YMCA, the elevator door rolled open, and here came Jerry BLEEPING Lewis.

We shook hands as Jerry said, “I was looking for you!  Where’d you go!”

I shot back: “Well, your crew made me hard to find, which isn’t easy most days.” A grin came over his face as he leaned in towards me and I grew serious in tone.

“So, what advice would you give me to raise money?  I don’t want to be Jerry Lewis, I want to be James Lacerenza, but carry some of your compassion.”

“Well, that’s a good start, you have to be you and you also have to trust your gut”, Jerry chimed back.

“I want to just be a tenth as good as you at helping people.  What else would you recommend?”, I asked.
 
“Don’t let anyone or anything negatively influence you.  Try to surround yourself with positive people and thoughts and good things will happen.  They already have!”, he exclaimed, referring to my previous years of work.

Jerry had to catch a bus to the Friars for his birthday dinner, but not before a hug, a kiss on the forehead, and one other request.

“Jerry”, I said, giddy with happiness – could we yell “HEY LADY” together?

And there it was, me and Jerry, smiling, laughing, and in a whiny, high pitched voice that we both knew how to do from all of his movies….there goes that “LAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYY-DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!”

“Remember what I said”, Lewis intoned as he gazed into my soul and I gazed back into his: “TRUST YOUR GUT and you’ll go far.”

From that moment on, my spirit, and for that matter, my stomach and all of its intestines, have never felt stronger.

You Only Live Once

Guest Post - Haylee Prowse

Go ahead, text him first – he might be checking his phone, waiting for you.

Stare into the eyes of the guy you like – memorize the color.

Turn on your iPod and run as far as you can.

Say hi to a stranger – you never know what they’ll become for you.

Have a mental health day – you know you need it.

Don’t go on facebook for a day and see what you can accomplish.

Give money to a charity, call an old friend, your good karma will come around eventually.

Sneak out, you might get caught, but it’ll be 100% worth it.

Tell that one person that you like them, what’s the worst that can happen?

He doesn’t like you back? Then he doesn’t deserve you anyways, right?

Treat yourself to something indulgent, you deserve it.

Smile at a stranger, it could make their day.

Wink, it’s sexy and makes you feel confident. After all, you are pretty hot.

Go for somebody who is totally wrong for you, they may not be totally wrong after all.

Stand up for yourself, because if you don’t, who will?

Moral of the story is, YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE!

Do Things Differently

So this post is about doing things differently, something many of us don’t enjoy doing.  If you do something in a different way than you are used to, you may think that only increases your chances of failure.  But it truly does much better things for you.  By doing things differently you can look at life from a different perspective.  By doing things differently you can possibly find your true calling that you never knew existed before.  How do I know this?  I’ve been doing things differently my entire life.

When I get up in the morning I cannot get myself dressed or into my chair.  I need to rely on either my parents or my nurse to assist me in all of that.  Once I am downstairs, my parents or my nurse have to help feed me breakfast and give me my medicine.  On weekdays, my nurse has to drive me to school and stay with me at college the entire day.  My nurse and my parents mostly have to be my arms and legs for me.  If I need a drink of water, someone has to get it for me and put a a straw in it so that I can drink it.  If I need a snack, someone has to get it for me.  If my arm falls off of my armrest, someone has to put it back on the armrest for me.  If I want to use my computer, my little brother has to help me put my hands on the table and push the table closer to me so that I can reach my laptop.  If I need to be dropped off somewhere, my parents have to drive me there.

But there are also many things that I do on my own differently.  When I am typing this blog post, I have to use the part of my fingers on the back of my hand instead of the part on the palm of my hand since my hands are so tight.  When I eat, I have to avoid foods that are too chewy or tough to eat since I have the risk of choking.  When I want to turn the page in a textbook I try to turn it with my pencil by sticking it in between the next two pages and moving it to the left.  When I want to do anything at all I have to think of different ways of doing it and be patient with myself.  These things may change my appearance, such as my feet splints and my wheelchair, but they also make me a stronger person.

I’ve been able to learn how to be patient with myself and people around me.  I’ve been able to learn what the truly important things in life.  I’ve been able to learn how to look past someone’s appearance and see the person they truly are inside.  I’ve been able to listen to people when they talk about a problem they are having since I have been through a lot myself and I know how good it feels for someone to just listen.  I’ve been able to keep on trudging on through life even when it seems there is nothing worth living for.  I’ve been able to turn failure into a lesson to be learned, and many of those lessons I share here on my blog in the past 49 posts.  Finally, I’ve been able to learn that Optimism is the best thing for not only me, but everyone else.  Hence, my blog was able to begin and become what it is today.  My blog was able to reach over 14,000 visitors from around the world in what will be a year in only two weeks.  Now if doing things differently can make my life better, imagine what it can do for you.

Art from the Heart

Guest Post - Corinne Romano

When growing up each of us develop our own coping skills for life.  Sometimes coping skills can come from exercise, writing, or talking it out; however for me personally I found my bliss in art.

For as long as I can remember I draw to make myself happy.  My go to emotional stabilizer is art, when I’m stressed, depressed or even ecstatic, I create.  From day one my parents have encouraged my overactive imagination.  Art has gotten me through my toughest trials of life.

A little more than a year ago I tore my ACL and was told I wouldn’t be able to move for at least two months, and walking/running would take at least six.  While I was bed ridden I decided to do anything I could to help make progress.

So I set myself up with sketchbooks, pens and my best jewelry making equipment.  In that time, I created some of the most original and beautiful pieces of jewelry I could imagine.  After building up a collection of my pieces I had worked clear through my boredom and pain.  I was off my pain medications from surgery within three days, and because I could do my physical therapy while working I had the ability to walk in under a month.  My final recovery time took me only five months.  Doctors were amazed at my more than speedy recovery.  I’ve concluded that if I’m not working I’m unhappy.

A few months later I had my first relationship.  Things were more than amazing for most of our time together.  During my happiest days I had worked on my AP studio portfolio.  Because I was so happy to be working and to have a companion, I poured more of myself into that project than I ever thought I would.

I ended up getting a very high grade on my final portfolio.  However, when we did eventually break up I was a mess.  When I didn’t want to talk, eat or even breathe I turned back to my drawing boards.  During my time of grief I worked through it creating outlandish creatures and worlds that lay hidden deep inside my imagination.  Emotionally that was one of the hardest times of my life.  I had receded into myself and the only signs of life I showed was my production of art.  When I finally came out of it I had monstrous creations with epic detailing and character backgrounds to match.

However, moving on from my issues, making art is only half the joy.  While making a picture or sculpture is rewarding, the real joy is seeing other people react to my art.  There’s nothing more exciting than watching people’s face light up when they see my pictures.  They may laugh at my comics or just be amazed at my natural talent.

People ask me all the time how I get so good at art.  The truth is, I just practice all the time.  Literally every second of the day I’m imagining new things, creatures, characters, worlds, I just breathe art.  Recently my imagination has taken my art to the next level.  Now when I stare idly out into space my brain draws on blank walls.  I can see the images in my head as if they were actually painted on the walls.  The way I see it its almost like having superpowers.

So if you’re an aimless doodler, or a wide-eyed dreamer, art is a tool we can all use to make our lives better.  Just getting things out on a page can be the difference between bottling up stress or grief, and releasing your demons so you can move on with your life.  And there is no greater gift than finding someone that can see what you feel behind the artwork.  For me, that feeling is freedom.