We all feel it at some points in our lives.
And no matter how hard we try to avoid it, it still comes no matter what we do. We all fall into a slump. Nothing makes us happy anymore. We lose sight of our dreams and of reality. Our true self gets locked away and everything we used to feel becomes numbed. Our friends notice a change in us. Our family begins to question our attitude and start to ask, “What’s wrong?” Nothing’s wrong. An optimistic slump is normal. I’ve had days when I’ve felt this way. Whatever I try to do, I am always unable to force myself back into reality. I do not even understand why I am so sad and depressed. On days like these, we all try to fake a smile and trudge through the day not trying to enjoy it, just trying to make it through. But is a slump as bad as we make it out to be?
A slump gets us thinking. We think much deeper than we normally would be. We start to wonder about our future, our relationships, the choices we have made, and on life in general. So what is so bad about that? Everyone needs time to really sit back and put the puzzle pieces of their life back in the correct places. No one can truly go on being optimistic forever without taking breaks to refuel. Our inspiration can run out; nor are any of our feelings limitless. Sooner or later, our feelings need to make a pit stop. Our check engine light does not only turn on when something bad happens physically, but also emotionally. Once the slump ends (and it always does end), you will feel relieved, but also revitalized.
In our fast-paced world we all should be grateful for a break. So, don’t be worried when you start to fall into a slump, unless of course, the slump does not go away after a long while. It’s your body’s way of telling you to slow down and take a very much-needed break. You’ve worn out your resources and need to go on a supply run. A slump gets you closer to yourself than anything else can. So, use that chance you have to look deep inside and try to understand your true self. When you know who you truly are, your confidence will grow and you’ll be able to be yourself, not anybody else.
And at the end of your slump,
Get off of your rump,
And take the next jump into life.
Wednesday, August 8, 2012
Thursday, July 19, 2012
Creative Opportunist
Guest Post - James Lacerenza
I want to share with you the equally important mindset of doing things by creating opportunities even when there seem to be none out there for you to take. The way you perceive your life really is a matter of attitude.
When I graduated college in December, 2010, I knew that adjusting from a structured routine of going to school every day and interacting with people the same age as me to transitioning towards not having to go anywhere or answer to anyone except myself for the first time in my life was going to be more difficult than the average person, for many reasons. For much of the last 18 months or so, I’ve gotten used to being in my house every day, doing laundry, stretching out my hamstrings, cleaning the floors, and spending hour after hour on the computer, either looking for a job, networking with friends on Facebook, or making a small income on “incentive websites” like Swagbucks, where the more time I spend on the site, the faster I earn free rewards and some spare cash.
In a world where my future potential boss can find out more about me with one click of a mouse than ever before, I take a risk in even typing out this. My possible employers really don’t care about what I’ve done in my life, where I’ve come from or what I’ve been through. They care about how much money I can make for them. I’d rather take the risk of helping a mass amount of people going through a similar situation today than just take a job working overnights in a hospital or bagging groceries. These were two jobs I actually was considered for, and I rejected both. I graduated with an English degree, and I want to utilize it in a job where my skills are essential to the end result.
Perhaps this is why I have had the optimistic attitude of trying to enjoy the last 18 months of not doing a great deal of anything as much as possible. I also have come to realize that being a writer or motivational speaker for a living, where I can set my own schedule, is becoming the career path I want to travel, even if I “miss out” on the social interaction I crave for the next few years while I establish myself as an author or speechwriter. Instead of sitting back and waiting for my opportunity in a world of endless job websites – I created my own opportunity.
Realistically, I probably wouldn’t have been able to raise a combined total of about $40,000 during these last 18 months for children with muscular dystrophy if I had a full-time, traditional job. Nor would I have been likely to meet people like Jerry Lewis and expand my social network outside of my computer screen by actually meeting many of the people I help at different events and gatherings. I probably wouldn’t have started writing for blogs and for an eventual book, might not have been able to take an hour or two out of each day to go to physical therapy. I almost surely wouldn’t have been able to ask my boss for time off to explore the possibility of me driving a car, or coordinating an annual community wide fundraiser that is getting bigger and better each year.
I will admit - my current mobility and economic situation does indeed get me frustrated from time to time when I see my friends post a gazillion photos on Facebook of themselves out on family vacations or partying with other friends. Yet, I realize that I did indeed make all of the wonderful things that have happened for me in the last year and a half happen for myself by not living the typical life of a 25 year old. Time and again, people both younger and older than me say, “you’re good at this fundraising thing, man” or, “you’re a very talented writer” or, “wow, what a speech you gave tonight”. I tell them I am lucky because I know what I want to do with my life – I want to make people happy by helping them overcome adversity in a variety of ways.
The social interaction with other 25 year olds, the pride of bringing home a paycheck in a job where I utilize my skills to my full potential, the relaxation I need sometimes when I juggle my philanthropy with my writing and occasional public speaking engagements sometimes make me sad. Those are things that the typical 25 year old has an easier time of obtaining. I actually feel like the path I’m on right now, though not typical, is ideal for me because I am truly happy with doing things the way I want to. How many people my age can say that they know what they want to do for the rest of their lives, that they will not be deterred from realizing their dreams no matter what obstacles are thrown in their way, and that they enjoy making other people happy year after year by fundraising as they go on their own path? Probably not too many people.
If all I did for the rest of my life was raise an average of 20 thousand dollars a year for kids in wheelchairs, inspire others by giving speeches and make my own income from writing about my life experiences, I would be thrilled, honestly. My regrets would be very few, and when put in their proper perspective, quite miniscule compared to my triumphs and my pride.
Malcolm Pray, a very wealthy man in my area who ran a successful chain of car dealerships, said something to me at the age of 13 that has stuck with me ever since I’ve heard it. It’s a quote that has been often times repeated by others before he imparted it on me. In his living room, he told me and a bunch of other youths he invited over to see his vintage car collection the following:
“There are three types of people in this world. People who make things happen, those who watch what happens, and those who say, ‘what happened’? Don’t just sit back and watch what happens, don’t be the person who asks, ‘hey, what happened?’ – make things happen.”
Even though I haven’t had the typical post-college experience, I’ve made things happen by exploring and capitalizing on my passions. When my friends are searching for what drives them, I will be blessed to already know, and probably will already be chasing after that motivation, full speed ahead.
That is one heck of a positive perception to have about life.
I want to share with you the equally important mindset of doing things by creating opportunities even when there seem to be none out there for you to take. The way you perceive your life really is a matter of attitude.
When I graduated college in December, 2010, I knew that adjusting from a structured routine of going to school every day and interacting with people the same age as me to transitioning towards not having to go anywhere or answer to anyone except myself for the first time in my life was going to be more difficult than the average person, for many reasons. For much of the last 18 months or so, I’ve gotten used to being in my house every day, doing laundry, stretching out my hamstrings, cleaning the floors, and spending hour after hour on the computer, either looking for a job, networking with friends on Facebook, or making a small income on “incentive websites” like Swagbucks, where the more time I spend on the site, the faster I earn free rewards and some spare cash.
In a world where my future potential boss can find out more about me with one click of a mouse than ever before, I take a risk in even typing out this. My possible employers really don’t care about what I’ve done in my life, where I’ve come from or what I’ve been through. They care about how much money I can make for them. I’d rather take the risk of helping a mass amount of people going through a similar situation today than just take a job working overnights in a hospital or bagging groceries. These were two jobs I actually was considered for, and I rejected both. I graduated with an English degree, and I want to utilize it in a job where my skills are essential to the end result.
Perhaps this is why I have had the optimistic attitude of trying to enjoy the last 18 months of not doing a great deal of anything as much as possible. I also have come to realize that being a writer or motivational speaker for a living, where I can set my own schedule, is becoming the career path I want to travel, even if I “miss out” on the social interaction I crave for the next few years while I establish myself as an author or speechwriter. Instead of sitting back and waiting for my opportunity in a world of endless job websites – I created my own opportunity.
Realistically, I probably wouldn’t have been able to raise a combined total of about $40,000 during these last 18 months for children with muscular dystrophy if I had a full-time, traditional job. Nor would I have been likely to meet people like Jerry Lewis and expand my social network outside of my computer screen by actually meeting many of the people I help at different events and gatherings. I probably wouldn’t have started writing for blogs and for an eventual book, might not have been able to take an hour or two out of each day to go to physical therapy. I almost surely wouldn’t have been able to ask my boss for time off to explore the possibility of me driving a car, or coordinating an annual community wide fundraiser that is getting bigger and better each year.
I will admit - my current mobility and economic situation does indeed get me frustrated from time to time when I see my friends post a gazillion photos on Facebook of themselves out on family vacations or partying with other friends. Yet, I realize that I did indeed make all of the wonderful things that have happened for me in the last year and a half happen for myself by not living the typical life of a 25 year old. Time and again, people both younger and older than me say, “you’re good at this fundraising thing, man” or, “you’re a very talented writer” or, “wow, what a speech you gave tonight”. I tell them I am lucky because I know what I want to do with my life – I want to make people happy by helping them overcome adversity in a variety of ways.
The social interaction with other 25 year olds, the pride of bringing home a paycheck in a job where I utilize my skills to my full potential, the relaxation I need sometimes when I juggle my philanthropy with my writing and occasional public speaking engagements sometimes make me sad. Those are things that the typical 25 year old has an easier time of obtaining. I actually feel like the path I’m on right now, though not typical, is ideal for me because I am truly happy with doing things the way I want to. How many people my age can say that they know what they want to do for the rest of their lives, that they will not be deterred from realizing their dreams no matter what obstacles are thrown in their way, and that they enjoy making other people happy year after year by fundraising as they go on their own path? Probably not too many people.
If all I did for the rest of my life was raise an average of 20 thousand dollars a year for kids in wheelchairs, inspire others by giving speeches and make my own income from writing about my life experiences, I would be thrilled, honestly. My regrets would be very few, and when put in their proper perspective, quite miniscule compared to my triumphs and my pride.
Malcolm Pray, a very wealthy man in my area who ran a successful chain of car dealerships, said something to me at the age of 13 that has stuck with me ever since I’ve heard it. It’s a quote that has been often times repeated by others before he imparted it on me. In his living room, he told me and a bunch of other youths he invited over to see his vintage car collection the following:
“There are three types of people in this world. People who make things happen, those who watch what happens, and those who say, ‘what happened’? Don’t just sit back and watch what happens, don’t be the person who asks, ‘hey, what happened?’ – make things happen.”
Even though I haven’t had the typical post-college experience, I’ve made things happen by exploring and capitalizing on my passions. When my friends are searching for what drives them, I will be blessed to already know, and probably will already be chasing after that motivation, full speed ahead.
That is one heck of a positive perception to have about life.
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
The Observer
As some of you know, a while back I wrote a poem called “From the Outside Looking In” discussing my thoughts as an observer trying to fit in with the crowd. I think that it is due to the fact that my disability used to make me feel jealous of other people around me. I was forced to watch everyone around me run, climb, and play sports, while I sat on the sidelines. I wanted to be able to make the winning touchdown in the football game. I wanted to be able to actually raise my hand in class and open the door for someone else. What I believed I truly wanted was to be like everyone else, since I thought that I was not good enough as I was. Everyone else seemed able to enjoy life, to accomplish their dreams, to be more than who I could physically be.
After a while, though, I was able to realize the one simple fact of life: we all have our problems and we all want what we do not or cannot have. In high school, I learned that lesson by talking to my friends and through hearing the rumors constantly spread like wildfire throughout the school. These problems that we carry with us may not always be visible, such as our fear of the future, our feelings of remorse and regret, or our lack of self-esteem. Other problems may be very apparent and visible: our anxiety, our stress, our anger, or even our outer appearance that we believe others find hideous. Still other problems may be visible, yet hard to identify, such as depression, sadness, or just feeling lost in a world out proportion. We may try to hide our problems, or push people as far as possible away from them, but that never works. Or we may instead attempt to get the attention and assistance of our friends or family as inadvertently as possible. Yet again, that does not solve anything.
I, being an observer for so long, feel that I am better able to notice when my friend needs someone to talk to. Noticing the smaller and veiled details is something that comes naturally to me. I know, I know, it is so much harder to look deeper into a conversation in our technological world; there are not many hints found in the simple statements of a text message or Facebook chat. But if you look deep enough, read between the lines, and actually take the time out of your day for it, then it is possible. Me? I try to make time for my friends when they need me to. I just can’t live with myself if I ever just leave someone without at least attempting to assist. To me, leaving a friend in need is like forgetting to take the baby out of the car on a hot summer’s day.
So, try to be an observer. It is not as hard as it may seem. If your friend is not acting as he or she normally would or answers with “okay”, “fine”, or “bad” to “How are you?” then it time to take action. Ask them, “Do you want to talk about it?” and if they say “yes” then try to talk to them, and most importantly, LISTEN to them as long as you possibly can. Don’t run away from the problems of others since it may scare you or you feel it does not concern you; being left all alone is the last thing that your friend wants. Even if your friend says that he or she does not want to talk about it, at least tell them, “If you ever need someone to talk to, I am always here for you.” That simple statement still shows your friend that you care, although it may seem to be worthless or not helpful to you. To end on, please don’t leave a baby in a hot car, and I mean that figuratively…
…and LITERALLY (it’s so dang hot outside!)
After a while, though, I was able to realize the one simple fact of life: we all have our problems and we all want what we do not or cannot have. In high school, I learned that lesson by talking to my friends and through hearing the rumors constantly spread like wildfire throughout the school. These problems that we carry with us may not always be visible, such as our fear of the future, our feelings of remorse and regret, or our lack of self-esteem. Other problems may be very apparent and visible: our anxiety, our stress, our anger, or even our outer appearance that we believe others find hideous. Still other problems may be visible, yet hard to identify, such as depression, sadness, or just feeling lost in a world out proportion. We may try to hide our problems, or push people as far as possible away from them, but that never works. Or we may instead attempt to get the attention and assistance of our friends or family as inadvertently as possible. Yet again, that does not solve anything.
I, being an observer for so long, feel that I am better able to notice when my friend needs someone to talk to. Noticing the smaller and veiled details is something that comes naturally to me. I know, I know, it is so much harder to look deeper into a conversation in our technological world; there are not many hints found in the simple statements of a text message or Facebook chat. But if you look deep enough, read between the lines, and actually take the time out of your day for it, then it is possible. Me? I try to make time for my friends when they need me to. I just can’t live with myself if I ever just leave someone without at least attempting to assist. To me, leaving a friend in need is like forgetting to take the baby out of the car on a hot summer’s day.
So, try to be an observer. It is not as hard as it may seem. If your friend is not acting as he or she normally would or answers with “okay”, “fine”, or “bad” to “How are you?” then it time to take action. Ask them, “Do you want to talk about it?” and if they say “yes” then try to talk to them, and most importantly, LISTEN to them as long as you possibly can. Don’t run away from the problems of others since it may scare you or you feel it does not concern you; being left all alone is the last thing that your friend wants. Even if your friend says that he or she does not want to talk about it, at least tell them, “If you ever need someone to talk to, I am always here for you.” That simple statement still shows your friend that you care, although it may seem to be worthless or not helpful to you. To end on, please don’t leave a baby in a hot car, and I mean that figuratively…
…and LITERALLY (it’s so dang hot outside!)
Sunday, June 17, 2012
Who Says?
I’ve struggled with this problem myself. I always used to worry about what others thought about me. I would see them staring at me and then a thousand thoughts would be whipping through my head. “Why are they staring at me?” “Do they think I’m a strange person just because I am sitting down?” “I wish I were normal.” Thoughts like that were what stopped me from living to my fullest potential. Everything I did would be almost completely based on what others would think of me afterwards. Everyone has a different opinion of life and what is right and wrong, normal and abnormal, beautiful and ugly. Therefore, it is impossible to be who the world wants you to be. But it is possible to be who YOU want to be.
It took me a while to figure that simple statement out. The only way I could realize that I would not want to be anyone else is by being myself. Once you open yourself up to the world and let whoever wants to accept you for who you are. Sure, you are taking a risk when you do this. You are risking losing some friends. Frankly, though, are they really your friends if they cannot accept you for YOU? And by being yourself think about all of the new and even closer friends you will gain. Those new friends may have been there the entire time, but you never chose to hang out with them since they weren’t as accepted as everyone else. All that truly matters is that you accept yourself. The rest will follow.
“But I don’t know who I truly am yet…” It’s fine to say that. It takes a long time and a lot of work to find out who you are at the core. If you are not ready just yet to take the plunge and be yourself, then that’s okay too. That also takes time to work up the courage. When you do find yourself and the courage to be that very person you know deep down inside you are, then take the plunge. It may be a long way down sometimes, but there will always be someone to catch you at the bottom. And that person may be the last person you thought it could ever be. Just take that first step, and the steps that follow will become easier over time.
“How do I know if I am not being myself?” The answer to that is simple. It takes more work to change who you are for others than it does to be yourself. So if it seems like you have to try and think about everything when you are out in public, then you are most likely not being yourself. Truly being whom you are inside should come naturally and easily. So, “who says you’re not perfect?” The simple answer is who really cares what they think? If you think you’re perfect, then YOU are perfect.
It took me a while to figure that simple statement out. The only way I could realize that I would not want to be anyone else is by being myself. Once you open yourself up to the world and let whoever wants to accept you for who you are. Sure, you are taking a risk when you do this. You are risking losing some friends. Frankly, though, are they really your friends if they cannot accept you for YOU? And by being yourself think about all of the new and even closer friends you will gain. Those new friends may have been there the entire time, but you never chose to hang out with them since they weren’t as accepted as everyone else. All that truly matters is that you accept yourself. The rest will follow.
“But I don’t know who I truly am yet…” It’s fine to say that. It takes a long time and a lot of work to find out who you are at the core. If you are not ready just yet to take the plunge and be yourself, then that’s okay too. That also takes time to work up the courage. When you do find yourself and the courage to be that very person you know deep down inside you are, then take the plunge. It may be a long way down sometimes, but there will always be someone to catch you at the bottom. And that person may be the last person you thought it could ever be. Just take that first step, and the steps that follow will become easier over time.
“How do I know if I am not being myself?” The answer to that is simple. It takes more work to change who you are for others than it does to be yourself. So if it seems like you have to try and think about everything when you are out in public, then you are most likely not being yourself. Truly being whom you are inside should come naturally and easily. So, “who says you’re not perfect?” The simple answer is who really cares what they think? If you think you’re perfect, then YOU are perfect.
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
You Are In Control
Never let anyone,
Shut down your dream,
No matter how easy,
Or hard it may seem.
Never let anyone,
Borrow your heart,
No matter how innocent,
It seemed from the start.
Never let anyone,
Change who you are,
Even if they think,
It will get you quite far.
Just remember your life,
Is your’s for the taking,
A fool of yourself,
Is sometimes worth making.
Set yourself free,
I’m sure you’ll be fine,
Even if some people say,
That you’re crossing the line.
To make something of yourself,
The last things you’ll need,
Are money and wealth,
Power and greed,
No need to ever,
Put your hope on the shelf,
Many doctors have told me,
It’s not good for your health! :)
Friday, April 27, 2012
Laughing Through Pain
Guest Post - James Lacerenza
It was always my dream to meet Jerry Lewis. Over the last 20 or so years of my 25 years of being on Earth, I was the kid who stayed up and watched all 21 and a half hours of Jerry’s annual telethon for muscular dystrophy, before I even realized what the show was for, why it was on my television, and just who was hosting it.
As I grew, I learned about Jerry’s partnership with Dean Martin, I watched some of his movies (“Disorderly Orderly” is my favorite); I knew of his successes and failures, his fans and detractors. However, I never ever dreamed I would really meet him, despite multiple people, actually at least 100 people, probably hundreds more, saying things like, “I hope you meet him”, or “you deserve to meet him”, or “that would be so awesome if you met him” over the course of the last decade. I believed I would meet him, I just didn’t know how or when.
So, when it was announced that my idol (or as I called him, “God”) was celebrating his 86th birthday (March 16, 2012) the day before my 25th one (March 17, 2012), my dad and I resolved to go, and I vowed to at least be in the same room as my inspiration.
I should explain that despite living with cerebral palsy, I not only watched Jerry’s telethon for muscular dystrophy until Jerry’s sudden, unexpected “goodbye” in 2010, I actively participated it, first as a volunteer in my hometown, then as a presenter who turned in to a local host on the 2008 New York City broadcast. In the process, I’ve raised well over one hundred thousand dollars for kids with muscular dystrophy to go to Muscular Dystrophy Association (MDA) camp in Spring Valley, New York and I’ve added a second camp site, Jett Foundation’s Camp Promise East as well. So, I felt it was my duty to show my loyalty to Jerry.
The celebration was actually split into two parts, one half was for the public in the form of a lecture and Q&A session at the 92nd Street YMCA in Manhattan, the other was a semi-private party at the hallowed Friar’s Club also in Manhattan.
Leading up to the show, I had been having a rough stretch of days in my life but tried my best not to complain, publicly or otherwise, though it was hard. While my birthday was mere hours before Jerry’s, I lost my mom a week after my 19th birthday in 2006, so my emotions were somewhat jumbled. Add in a job search that seemed to be stuck in “neutral” and “cabin fever” from being told I wouldn’t be able to drive (yet – I depend on my dad to drive me around for now), and I knew I was in desperate need of pulling out the one universal weapon that both Jerry and I (but especially Jerry) were really good at using in times of stress and trouble: laughter.
After a lengthy discussion with Richard Belzer (Law and Order, all 98 versions) on Jerry’s movies and other things, including Jerry claiming he didn’t retire, he was fired from the telethon by MDA (Jerry’s claim, not mine, here’s a link to where he said it!), the time for questions from the audience came. (It was so hot in the auditorium, I actually got nervous and had to regroup with a drink of water and watch most of the show in an air conditioned room next to the auditorium.)
My father was worried I wouldn’t have a good question, since Jerry told the audience that we didn’t need to tell him how much we loved him – some people did, and got a playful, sometimes annoyed Jerry to deal with, yet, to be fair, all of us there that night were used to “angry Jerry”, having seen much of his body of work.
When I rolled down to the stage, a grin began to form on Jerry’s face as if I was a ray of sunshine peaking through the clouds of people saying “I love you!” that was giving him a headache.
Loud enough for everyone to hear, he and I spoke.
“Hi Jerry!”, I said, not loudly, but louder than most of the others in the audience had been.
Jerry replied: “Hi, could you speak a little softer?”
I whispered, “okay”, and there was that sound I was looking for – LAUGHTER. I knew I had the audience’s attention now.
“Jerry, I don’t want to tell you I love you because you know that already, but my name is James Lacerenza, I have cerebral palsy and I’ve sent about 50 to 100 of your “kids” to camp. I just want you to know you’re my hero.”
The audience, without me asking, broke into applause for about 15 seconds, probably a bit longer.
“James”, Jerry said, “I remember you, yes. I know all about what you’ve done. Are you Italian?”
Of course, I said, “yes!”
Jerry uttered: “I can smell the garlic breath from here!”
A wave of laughter came from everyone, including me.
Jerry continued: “What’s your question, sweetheart?”
I replied: “I wanted to know what advice you had for me raising more money for the kids, and if you could give me a hug after the show.”
Then, the words I never thought I’d hear came from Jerry: “I’ll meet you backstage after the show to do exactly that.”
More applause followed, and my body and brain felt a mix of emotions: shock, happiness, nervousness, excitement, bliss, being extremely grateful and fortunate, all rolled into one. I also silently thanked my mother. I knew she had planned this somewhere in heaven.
A half hour later, after patiently waiting for the end of the show, in the dual basement and garbage room of the YMCA, the elevator door rolled open, and here came Jerry BLEEPING Lewis.
We shook hands as Jerry said, “I was looking for you! Where’d you go!”
I shot back: “Well, your crew made me hard to find, which isn’t easy most days.” A grin came over his face as he leaned in towards me and I grew serious in tone.
“So, what advice would you give me to raise money? I don’t want to be Jerry Lewis, I want to be James Lacerenza, but carry some of your compassion.”
“Well, that’s a good start, you have to be you and you also have to trust your gut”, Jerry chimed back.
“I want to just be a tenth as good as you at helping people. What else would you recommend?”, I asked.
“Don’t let anyone or anything negatively influence you. Try to surround yourself with positive people and thoughts and good things will happen. They already have!”, he exclaimed, referring to my previous years of work.
Jerry had to catch a bus to the Friars for his birthday dinner, but not before a hug, a kiss on the forehead, and one other request.
“Jerry”, I said, giddy with happiness – could we yell “HEY LADY” together?
And there it was, me and Jerry, smiling, laughing, and in a whiny, high pitched voice that we both knew how to do from all of his movies….there goes that “LAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYY-DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!”
“Remember what I said”, Lewis intoned as he gazed into my soul and I gazed back into his: “TRUST YOUR GUT and you’ll go far.”
From that moment on, my spirit, and for that matter, my stomach and all of its intestines, have never felt stronger.
It was always my dream to meet Jerry Lewis. Over the last 20 or so years of my 25 years of being on Earth, I was the kid who stayed up and watched all 21 and a half hours of Jerry’s annual telethon for muscular dystrophy, before I even realized what the show was for, why it was on my television, and just who was hosting it.
As I grew, I learned about Jerry’s partnership with Dean Martin, I watched some of his movies (“Disorderly Orderly” is my favorite); I knew of his successes and failures, his fans and detractors. However, I never ever dreamed I would really meet him, despite multiple people, actually at least 100 people, probably hundreds more, saying things like, “I hope you meet him”, or “you deserve to meet him”, or “that would be so awesome if you met him” over the course of the last decade. I believed I would meet him, I just didn’t know how or when.
So, when it was announced that my idol (or as I called him, “God”) was celebrating his 86th birthday (March 16, 2012) the day before my 25th one (March 17, 2012), my dad and I resolved to go, and I vowed to at least be in the same room as my inspiration.
I should explain that despite living with cerebral palsy, I not only watched Jerry’s telethon for muscular dystrophy until Jerry’s sudden, unexpected “goodbye” in 2010, I actively participated it, first as a volunteer in my hometown, then as a presenter who turned in to a local host on the 2008 New York City broadcast. In the process, I’ve raised well over one hundred thousand dollars for kids with muscular dystrophy to go to Muscular Dystrophy Association (MDA) camp in Spring Valley, New York and I’ve added a second camp site, Jett Foundation’s Camp Promise East as well. So, I felt it was my duty to show my loyalty to Jerry.
The celebration was actually split into two parts, one half was for the public in the form of a lecture and Q&A session at the 92nd Street YMCA in Manhattan, the other was a semi-private party at the hallowed Friar’s Club also in Manhattan.
Leading up to the show, I had been having a rough stretch of days in my life but tried my best not to complain, publicly or otherwise, though it was hard. While my birthday was mere hours before Jerry’s, I lost my mom a week after my 19th birthday in 2006, so my emotions were somewhat jumbled. Add in a job search that seemed to be stuck in “neutral” and “cabin fever” from being told I wouldn’t be able to drive (yet – I depend on my dad to drive me around for now), and I knew I was in desperate need of pulling out the one universal weapon that both Jerry and I (but especially Jerry) were really good at using in times of stress and trouble: laughter.
After a lengthy discussion with Richard Belzer (Law and Order, all 98 versions) on Jerry’s movies and other things, including Jerry claiming he didn’t retire, he was fired from the telethon by MDA (Jerry’s claim, not mine, here’s a link to where he said it!), the time for questions from the audience came. (It was so hot in the auditorium, I actually got nervous and had to regroup with a drink of water and watch most of the show in an air conditioned room next to the auditorium.)
My father was worried I wouldn’t have a good question, since Jerry told the audience that we didn’t need to tell him how much we loved him – some people did, and got a playful, sometimes annoyed Jerry to deal with, yet, to be fair, all of us there that night were used to “angry Jerry”, having seen much of his body of work.
When I rolled down to the stage, a grin began to form on Jerry’s face as if I was a ray of sunshine peaking through the clouds of people saying “I love you!” that was giving him a headache.
Loud enough for everyone to hear, he and I spoke.
“Hi Jerry!”, I said, not loudly, but louder than most of the others in the audience had been.
Jerry replied: “Hi, could you speak a little softer?”
I whispered, “okay”, and there was that sound I was looking for – LAUGHTER. I knew I had the audience’s attention now.
“Jerry, I don’t want to tell you I love you because you know that already, but my name is James Lacerenza, I have cerebral palsy and I’ve sent about 50 to 100 of your “kids” to camp. I just want you to know you’re my hero.”
The audience, without me asking, broke into applause for about 15 seconds, probably a bit longer.
“James”, Jerry said, “I remember you, yes. I know all about what you’ve done. Are you Italian?”
Of course, I said, “yes!”
Jerry uttered: “I can smell the garlic breath from here!”
A wave of laughter came from everyone, including me.
Jerry continued: “What’s your question, sweetheart?”
I replied: “I wanted to know what advice you had for me raising more money for the kids, and if you could give me a hug after the show.”
Then, the words I never thought I’d hear came from Jerry: “I’ll meet you backstage after the show to do exactly that.”
More applause followed, and my body and brain felt a mix of emotions: shock, happiness, nervousness, excitement, bliss, being extremely grateful and fortunate, all rolled into one. I also silently thanked my mother. I knew she had planned this somewhere in heaven.
A half hour later, after patiently waiting for the end of the show, in the dual basement and garbage room of the YMCA, the elevator door rolled open, and here came Jerry BLEEPING Lewis.
We shook hands as Jerry said, “I was looking for you! Where’d you go!”
I shot back: “Well, your crew made me hard to find, which isn’t easy most days.” A grin came over his face as he leaned in towards me and I grew serious in tone.
“So, what advice would you give me to raise money? I don’t want to be Jerry Lewis, I want to be James Lacerenza, but carry some of your compassion.”
“Well, that’s a good start, you have to be you and you also have to trust your gut”, Jerry chimed back.
“I want to just be a tenth as good as you at helping people. What else would you recommend?”, I asked.
“Don’t let anyone or anything negatively influence you. Try to surround yourself with positive people and thoughts and good things will happen. They already have!”, he exclaimed, referring to my previous years of work.
Jerry had to catch a bus to the Friars for his birthday dinner, but not before a hug, a kiss on the forehead, and one other request.
“Jerry”, I said, giddy with happiness – could we yell “HEY LADY” together?
And there it was, me and Jerry, smiling, laughing, and in a whiny, high pitched voice that we both knew how to do from all of his movies….there goes that “LAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYY-DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!”
“Remember what I said”, Lewis intoned as he gazed into my soul and I gazed back into his: “TRUST YOUR GUT and you’ll go far.”
From that moment on, my spirit, and for that matter, my stomach and all of its intestines, have never felt stronger.
Saturday, April 21, 2012
You Only Live Once
Guest Post - Haylee Prowse
Go ahead, text him first – he might be checking his phone, waiting for you.
Stare into the eyes of the guy you like – memorize the color.
Turn on your iPod and run as far as you can.
Say hi to a stranger – you never know what they’ll become for you.
Have a mental health day – you know you need it.
Don’t go on facebook for a day and see what you can accomplish.
Give money to a charity, call an old friend, your good karma will come around eventually.
Sneak out, you might get caught, but it’ll be 100% worth it.
Tell that one person that you like them, what’s the worst that can happen?
He doesn’t like you back? Then he doesn’t deserve you anyways, right?
Treat yourself to something indulgent, you deserve it.
Smile at a stranger, it could make their day.
Wink, it’s sexy and makes you feel confident. After all, you are pretty hot.
Go for somebody who is totally wrong for you, they may not be totally wrong after all.
Stand up for yourself, because if you don’t, who will?
Moral of the story is, YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE!
Go ahead, text him first – he might be checking his phone, waiting for you.
Stare into the eyes of the guy you like – memorize the color.
Turn on your iPod and run as far as you can.
Say hi to a stranger – you never know what they’ll become for you.
Have a mental health day – you know you need it.
Don’t go on facebook for a day and see what you can accomplish.
Give money to a charity, call an old friend, your good karma will come around eventually.
Sneak out, you might get caught, but it’ll be 100% worth it.
Tell that one person that you like them, what’s the worst that can happen?
He doesn’t like you back? Then he doesn’t deserve you anyways, right?
Treat yourself to something indulgent, you deserve it.
Smile at a stranger, it could make their day.
Wink, it’s sexy and makes you feel confident. After all, you are pretty hot.
Go for somebody who is totally wrong for you, they may not be totally wrong after all.
Stand up for yourself, because if you don’t, who will?
Moral of the story is, YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE!
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